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Everyone has a story, and this is mine
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JESSIE LAM ♥ And in another life I would be your girl. X March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 June 2011 September 2011 December 2011 January 2012 March 2012 May 2012 credits
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Wednesday, May 30, 2012 @ 11:04 AM When you feel that your care for others was never appreciated, but you just can't stop. When you no longer know where you stand in their heart, but you can't question. Bottle it up. On a happier note, I'M GNA BE PUTTING ON BRACES REAL SOON!! :D Heheh, have been wanting to put it since years back...but always can't be bothered by it till now. Guess by end of June it'll be done! :) Wanting 8th of June to arrive so badly...though it's only 2 weeks holidays this time but at least I might be able to relax myself and not feeling so tensed up like now for all the unknown reasons. I wna go back to the life where I need not account to anyone for my actions, where I can go out with anyone I like, drink as and when I like, where my mood would not be affected by other people's actions, where some people's ignorant and nonchalent (that's what I think they're doing) wouldn't bother me at all. They might not feel it that way, I might be the one thinking too much, but this is what I feel that's conveyed to me through their actions. Drinking keeps me so relax, as least it stopped me from thinking about all the problems at that moment. Yadah yadah I know others always say girls shouldn't drink so often and much, but Idgaf. At least I'm still able to get home safely always after drinking alone, always, alone. Didn't become any burden or let anyone anyhow touch me that's the main thing I guess? Hah. I wna meet Xue Li, someone who's always willing to do all these crazeh things with me! :) But when it's my holidays, her holidays will be over.... FROWNS. :( It's their life, let it go. I need to make a decision soon... Friday, March 30, 2012 @ 6:28 PM Sometimes I really wonder why do we fall in love, why do we put our happiness in someone's hand? When we know that we're actually giving them the power to make us feel like we're at the top of the world, and maybe the next moment actually feeling like shit? Yknw the roller coaster ride that your feelings have to go through? But without love, what is life? Nothing. Why give your heart away knowing that not everytime is worth the try, but not everytime isn't worth the try too. Just some random thoughts...... Sunday, March 18, 2012 @ 11:54 AM TBH if I were given a chance for hoping anything to happen agn, there isn't anything I wish for at all now. 'Cause wht I wished for to happen, had already happened! :D Life's good at this moment, I don't wish for anything to change at all. I've wht I wanted and wished for, blissed. And yah, sidetrack a bit. Through the years, most of my ex(s) are still my friends and whn I get in contact w/ them for one reason or another, I do look at whether they still stick to wht they've once said before or no. Not those promises for us, but for himself. Eg: quit smoker blabla. Some do, but some don't and it kinda amazes me how can they lie so well at tht point of time! Some even worse, don't like their gf to do some things but still ask other ppl's gf to do it? Contradicting or wht. But all is in the past and I'm only interested in wht may come from now on! :D Saturday, January 21, 2012 @ 3:34 PM "Don’t know about your world but mine is really kinda chaotic. Often too easy to get caught up in ourselves and our issues to spare a thought for feelings that aren’t our own. Being selfish and full of pride leads to tons of unnecessary fights that are exhausting and pointless. At the end of the day, it’s the love you wanted at the beginning that you still want, so why hurt it just cos you’re too blinded by anger and pride to see that your way isn’t the only route to happiness? Sometimes we wanna give up or want what we can’t have cos we *think* it’s better than what we do have. We let go way too easily because we think we have options. Our egos assume we deserve better, our selfishness points the blame at others, and our pride refuses to let us reflect and assess if the fault is ours. What people consistently fail to consider is whether we’d be okay if we lost what we have, forever. What if we can never get it back or anything remotely close? What if this is the best we will ever get?" - Yankaykay @ 3:03 PM If you ever leave me baby, Leave some morphine at my door ‘Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don’t have it anymore.
There’s no religion that could save me
No matter how long my knees are on the floor
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I’m makin’
Will keep you by my side
Will keep you from walkin’ out the door.
Cause there’ll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There’ll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...
I’ll never be your mother’s favorite
Your daddy can’t even look me in the eye
Oooh if I was in their shoes,
I’d be doing the same thing
Sayin there goes my little girl
Walkin’ with that troublesome guy
But they’re just afraid of something they can’t understand
Oooh well little darlin’ watch me change their minds
Yeah for you I’ll try I’ll try I’ll try I’ll try
I’ll pick up these broken pieces ’til I’m bleeding
If that’ll make you mine
Cause there’ll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There’ll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...
Don’t just say, goodbye
Don’t just say, goodbye
I’ll pick up these broken pieces ’til I’m bleeding
If that’ll make it right
Cause there’ll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There’ll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby Just like the clouds My eyes will do the same if you walk away Everyday it will rain, rain, rain... HAPPY 2012! *throws confetti*
Thursday, January 5, 2012 @ 4:11 PM NYE started w/ housewarming at bro's hse w/ the guys! YAY FINALLY SAW NWS AFTER SO LONNNNNNG! Yi Lin was there too :) Started eating once we reached 0.0 hahahaha had buffet but I ate a lil' only because I wanted to save my tummy space for the steamboat at JW's hse w/ the girls! Drank a lil' after that, ws' bro just keep pouring for us only lor.. But he's damn nice! Rly like a big brother to us. :) Finished ard half a bottle of Martell but I drank a few cups only, CJ drank the rest for me hehe. That explains his supa red face. Wanted to leave ard 8 plus initially but the guys kept dragging me don't let me go T_T, so I said I can't miss the fireworks and all of them ask me go youtube it. Yes, guys being guys. Never will they appreciate all these! :@ All girls love seeing all these, right? Or only me O_O So I decided to bring the guys over w/ me too! We can leave bro's place + I can meet my girls = one stone shoot two birds. So we cabbed over and we started eating agn too~ But sigh, I ate a lil' only too because my tummy is alrdy feeling a lil' uneasy from the drinks. Hahahahaha but I still spam cheese hotdogs ^^ Played card games while waiting for 12AM. Kept telling all of them 1157PM we must go out camp alrdy, all bth me 'cos I kept repeating hahahahaha I NO CARE! FINALLY, MY MOMENT CAME. FIREWORKS! *POP POP POP* That moment I got so happy I've no idea why too. Perhaps being able to spend this day w/ my two fav cliques is what I long wanted! ♥ My girls & guys ♥ We've all known each other since secondary school days! \(^_^)/ How fast time flies... Can't rly rmbr wht happened after that though... Busy camwhoring w/ the girls, painting nails, Hoegaarden, crapping till 3 plus 4. Went down and they got McD's icecream! Yx was alrdy dreaming and complaining I'm always taking away his sleeping time because I always force him to stay till the end w/ us! :p Just like Christmas eve at Gary's place hahahahaha we're all in this tgt ok bitch! Separated our ways and went back w/ Xi Ting, Xue Li, Jackie & Zf. The torture part came... COULDN'T FIND A CAB AT ALL TILL AFTER SGH. THIS IS TERRIBLE AND TIRING. Saw one from afar and I ran, rly ran. Hahahahaha cabbed bck w the 2 girls and crashed at Ah Li's place till next morn. :) On a side note, I'm glad that Christmas Eve + New Year Eve were both well spent. Also kind of glad that it's over so I won't be drinking so often anymore! :D But hey, I think I can drink btr now compared to the past? I thinkkkkk. Kidding lah hahahahaha. No idea since when, my parents are more open to me spending the night out and drinking outside. :/ Sec3 onwards I guess? I don't knw whether is it a good or bad thing... But I still knw what's right or wrong lah obviously! Discipline is the key hahahaha. And crap, school started. No idea why I dislike poly life so much. It wasn't this case in secondary school. Ever since I stepped into this poly life, I'm literally dragging myself to pass everyday. This s u c k s so much... Perhaps is the workload I guess. TBH, I can't wait for the next term break alrdy. :( Somehow, seeing all my friends happily attached or found someone they love, I'm happy for them! This defines true friends I guess. :) I don't knw I'm crazy or what but sometimes I do pray for all the good things to fall on them. Hope all of them will last/get tgt w/ the one that truly deserves them ♥ LOVE Y'ALL MWAH, I wouldn't trade anyone of you for anything else I swear! And yup, there's some others that are not mentioned in this post too ♥ I have died everyday waiting for you~
Monday, January 2, 2012 @ 11:56 AM NEW FAV SONG! ♥ Heartbeats fast Colors and promises How to be brave How can I love when I’m afraid to fall But watching you stand alone All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow One step closer I have died everyday waiting for you Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I’ll love you for a thousand more Time stands still Beauty in all she is I will be brave I will not let anything take away What’s standing in front of me Every breath Every hour has come to this One step closer I have died everyday waiting for you Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I’ll love you for a thousand more And all along I believed that I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I’ll love you for a thousand more One step closer One step closer I have died everyday waiting for you Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I’ll love you for a thousand more And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I’ll love you for a thousand more |